He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
wow bdsm is so cute
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
