Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
