Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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