No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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