so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
