she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
