Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
