just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
