...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Randomize
