Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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