Do you still have your period?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
