Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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