I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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