Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
