Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
