I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
