how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
