she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I am available for nakedness
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
