all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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