Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
