So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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