I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
