I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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