Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
