He uses pillows to masturbate.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
