i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
