Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Someone came in the potted fern
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
