she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
