My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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