So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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