He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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