Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
