I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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