There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
