In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
