Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
