We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
