Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
