Girls should come with a carfax report
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The adults are the big ones right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
