I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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