Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
