I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
