He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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