I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
