oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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