shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
