I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
