PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
