THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
false alarm. still invincible.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
