I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
