the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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