you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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